Two families become one

Ah.... what to say about today.  It was a special day.

Today, we met Brooklyn's biological half brother.  We saw her birth mother again, and we saw her birth mother's sister's partner again, who we met briefly at the hospital on the day Brooklyn was born.  The day started out at a picnic that Open Arms hosts for adoptive and birth families.  Marie (her birth mother) had said awhile back that they were going to come.  For several reasons that I won't go into, I had some doubts about whether or not they'd show up.  Marie called this morning to ask what time we were going to to tell us what time they'd be there.  Turns out, they weren't going to be there until almost the end.  It worked for us, though.  We had been somewhat nervous about how it would go, and balancing being with them and socializing with the adoptive families/friends we've met along the way, especially those who hadn't met Brooklyn yet.  It was a rainy day, so the "picnic" was indoors.  It was so amazing to me to be there with all of these people we'd gone through the process with... people who sat in workshops with us, went to coffee talk with us, and dreamed and prayed along side us, waiting for their babies to find them.  People who really know where we've been, and understand where we are right now.  They all had a baby in tow.  Really amazing to see.  Such a miraculous feeling.  Brooklyn did well.  She was tired and over stimulated, but did well for the most part.  Towards the end of the picnic, when it was time for Marie and family to arrive, I got a text from her saying that they were running late.  Well, they were going to get there over an hour after the picnic ended, and we couldn't stay and use the space.  So, we ended up meeting at a restaurant.  It was perfect.  Really perfect.  It's impossible to tell you or describe what it's like... how to tell you what it feels like to sit next to the woman who gave birth to your daughter, and feel at home?  People can't really understand this experience unless they've lived it.  The amount of love and respect we have for her is immeasurable.  Looking at James, Brooklyn's biological half brother, looking at her for the first time, a smile on his face and his joy so apparent... that was a moment.  He is this super adorable, super sociable kid who talked our ear off.  He's quirky in a good way, old beyond his years, a soulful and thoughtful boy.  Brian made an intersting observation about James.  For those of you who know my nephew Takota, or know of him through me, you know that he's not your average boy.  He just turned 12, same age as James, and he's always been a different kind of kid.  He's sweet, thoughtful, and sensitive.  He is open in how he feels about the people he loves.  He's expressive.  He's beyond his years.  He's soulful.  He's other worldly.  Kelly, a dear friend of mine, once descibed it like this:  He has a light that shines all around him.  He does.  Takota does.  James has an element of that in him.  He's kind and thoughtful in ways that you don't expect in 12 year old boys.  He came in and shook Brian's hand.  He would have done the same for me except I chose to pull him into a hug.  He's my baby's biological brother, after all.  He talked to us as if he'd known us forever, and as he was leaving today, he told us that he thought of us as family.  Brought tears to my eyes.  Brooklyn is so darn lucky... she's got a whole host of people who love and adore her, who want only the best for her.  Marie as good... she acted just as we remembered her, and it was sweet and comfortable.  The connection we feel with her is deep.  How could it not?  She chose us to parent her baby.  She gave us our daughter.  Stacy, Marie's sister's partner, was not friendly with us at the hospital.  She didn't make eye contact, and left right after we got there.  She talked to us today about how that experience was for her, how she was surprised to feel the way she did when Brooklyn was placed in her arms, and how she felt handing her over to us when we arrived.  She talked about how she wanted to take the baby and run, and she told us about the moment when she realized we were ok (We'd sent a special birthday gift to Marie... Brooklyn's handprints).  She has fully embraced us as Brooklyn's parents and part of her family, and that was huge.  We took a ton of pictures, some video, and we just had a nice time.  I can't think of a better gift to give to Brooklyn when the time comes than to share with her these early experiences of two families becoming one.  It's simply remarkable.

Brooklyn is a real person

Had a great 2nd post-placement visit today with Stefani.  How did we get lucky enough to find this agency, then lucky again in getting Stefani assigned to us?  How did we get a social worker who cares so much and always goes above and beyond to make us feel loved, cared for, supported, understood, and like we're her only clients when in fact we know we're not at all her only?  She's simply fabulous.  We absolutely adore her.  We feel like she's such a huge part of Brooklyn's story and our story that we hope to have her be a part of our lives for a long, long time to come. 
How fun it was to talk to her and tell her all about our girl, how she's growing and changing and thriving!  Stefani was so excited to hear every detail, and we were more than happy to oblige!  It doesn't get much better than talking incessantly about the joys of parenthood and the most beautiful little girl in the world.
Brooklyn has changed.  She's becoming her own person.  She seems fairly serious, choosey about who she shares her smiles with and when, maybe a bit cautious and slightly distrustful of new people.  She's snuggly and loving with Brian and I and other people she's getting to know.  She loves to sleep in her swing and will not sleep for more than a half hour in her crib for naps, but has no problem sleeping in it at night.  She's sleeping 6-7 hours over night followed by another 3, sometimes 4 hours.  She's a grazer... eats little bits more frequently than maybe we'd choose, but it's her belly and she knows what it needs.  She's discovering her voice, loves to suck on her fist and is suddenly leaning more towards being a thumb sucker than an index finger sucker, which is the opposite of what I'd have said last week.  She laughed out loud, very clearly, last week but is now doing more smiling and noise making in a way that can't quite be said is a laugh, but can't quite be said isn't.  She loves to be outside.  She napped in her swing on the patio tonight.  She adores water and being in the bath.  I think she'll be a gold metalist in swimming some day.  She gets rather angry about having to come out of the tub and get dressed.  She likes to be rocked to sleep and her favorite song is Wheels on the Bus.  She likes to blow raspberries and thinks I'm ridiculous when I try to do it back.  It produces a smile almost every time.  She's making fun of me.  I love her!
I love her and everyone who ever had anything to do with helping her find us and us find her... that means you.  Everyone who said a kind word, supported us in quiet or not so quiet ways along the journey, everyone who encouraged us, taught us, listened to us; everyone who was there to lend an ear, a shoulder, some advise.  People who questioned us in order to help us think things through, people who reassured us over and over again that we'd get there, that the right baby would come along at the right time, and that there was a birth mother out there who was meant to find us.
Thank you.