I haven't blogged in awhile because it's been crazy, and it's hard to collect my thoughts and get them down on paper. We've entered into a busy, busy time period. Busy meaning, Brooklyn is a busy kid! She's at an incredibly awesome and amazing stage, and mixed in with that is a very frustrating one! As any of you who have had a 7 or 8 month old know, finding their indepenence and their "voice" is so important. Brooklyn's done that. She's become very much her own person. The changes she's going through are happening in the blink of an eye, literally. I turned around the other day to see her holding her blanket with two hands, up in front of her face and pulling it down with a huge smile on her face... she was playing peek a boo with my sister, and totally getting it! We've played that game with her over and over again for months, but she'd just laugh at us (I'm assuming thinking we look pretty silly doing that!) but never initiated it or did it independently. Never showing us that she gets the game. A while later, she was sitting on the floor, playing. Something made her happy, and she started clapping her hands in her own little way. What? Didn't know she could do that. Another first. She also started crawling on all fours, not just "swimming" across the floor. Amazing to watch. Totally delightful. Most of it, we caught on tape or were able to catch some portion of it on tape. I love it. I love everything about it. Then, there's the diaper changes and the clothing changes. Those chores, I don't love so much because it's suddenly a chore! She twists, she turns, she cries, she screams, she rolls around and fights it every single step of the way. I know you know what I'm talking about. I just feel exasperated... I try to ask her... WHAT is so bad about getting a dry, clean diaper on? Why is it so awful to put on clean clothes? Doesn't it feel better to get your nose snot sucked out so you can breath easier? Right now, she just wants no parts of it, and she fights and fights. While it's exasperating and frustrating, it's also sort of cool to see her expressing her opinions, trying to let me know what works for her and what doesn't. She's a little turkey, that girl.
We saw her birth family a couple weeks ago. It was great. Really, truly great. They love her, it's so clear in every single interaction. They respect us as her parents. That's just as clear. People ask me all the time how it is, how it feels, and tell me that they couldn't do it. Again, I think to myself... how could you not? I couldn't deny her this experience... the experience of knowing where she came from, how she got to us, and why; the experience of having all of these amazing and caring people love her. We were at a park, and at one point, we were all sitting around Brooklyn, who was rolling around on a blanket on the grass. She literally was surrounded by her birth mom, her birth mom's son, sister, sister in law, friend, and friend's daughter, not to mention Brian and I. There she was, the queen sitting on her throne, surrounded by adoring people. What an awesome experience. We were meeting her birth mom's sister, A., for the first time, and A. was asking Brooklyn questions like "Are you a happy baby? You like your pacifier, what else do you like?" The questions were obviously for us, asked through Brooklyn. We answered them. We told her that Brooklyn likes to sleep, but is a lousy napper most of the time. A., said to Brooklyn, "You're not like your Mommy then, because she likes to sleep all the time". Of course, I knew who she was referring to, and I knew it was unintentional, but I couldn't help but feel a tiny little sting when she referred to Marie as "Mommy". The thing was, A. caught herself and corrected it, without me having to mention it at all. After that, I felt like A. was going out of her way to refer to me as "Mommy". For example, she was holding her and Brookyn started to fuss a bit, and she pointed to me and said "It's ok, Mommy's right there". So, basically, it was a slip, she caught it, and she corrected herself. I know this is weird for her still, and there's so much for all of us to learn about Open Adoption and how it works; defining the relationships, figuring out how to interact with each other, learning about one another, etc. I feel so honored that this family chose us, and that they continue to stay connected with us. I think Brooklyn's life is going to be so rich and full, and so filled with love. I'm so, so thankful.
