Timelines

Someone at work said to me first thing this morning "Hey, Ter... when's your baby coming?".  I replied "No idea".  She responded "What?  I thought we had a timeline!".  Yeah, a timeline.  What I wouldn't give for a timeline right about now.  I've said it before and I'll say it again (and likely again and again and again...).  We're doing well.  We've done so well throughout all of this.  But darn it, I'd love a timeline!  Luckily for us, the wait hasnt' kept us up at night.  We're both great sleepers, and perhaps sleeping is a way of keeping us sane and keeping icky thoughts at bay.  A good way to escape from thinking about it for awhile.  I was having so many dreams about adoption for awhile there, and those seem to have stopped.  So sleep is peaceful and pleasant.  I know we're still in the "early" phase of the wait, if this is really going to be a 2 year stint.  I know that many people we've met who've already adopted waited between 5 and 9 months.  I try not to focus on that, try not to assume we're close because THEY waited 9 months and we're now at 6 and a half.  Everyone's situation is different and unique.  But of course, in the back of my mind (or maybe sometimes, the forefront!) I'm thinking... well, it seems people don't wait more than 9 months, so we've got less than three to go!  We may have a long, long haul ahead of us.  We recently started thinking about the what if's of not being picked.  What if we're always passed over?  What if this is NOT a sure thing like the people at Open Arms tell us?  As one family adopts and are no longer being "shown", our chances of being picked do not go up.  There are not less adoptive parents to choose from.  New, hopeful families are being added to the mix all the time.  The pool doesn't get smaller.  So why do they say it's a guarantee when it doesn't feel like that at all right now?  I guess they've never had a situation where a family waits indefinitely and never gets chosen.  An adoptive family once told us the story of waiting, and how they felt like they were so ordinary that there wasn't anything about them that made them special.  Why would such an ordinary couple stand out in a crowd of so many others?  What was it about them that would catch someone's eye and touch someone's heart?  This is how we're feeling right now.  When they were finally picked, they had the opportunity to spend time with the birth mother and ask her this question.  What was it about us that made you believe we were the right ones to raise your baby?  Her reply... "you're just like me".  Similar interests, similar lifestyle, similar background, raised in a similar way.  They felt familiar to this birthmother, and she wanted her baby to be raised with what was familiar to her.  We've been told over and over again that you never know what will stand out to someone else.  Our social worker believes that someone will see this picture of Brian and I doing a "sea trek" in Cozumel that we included in our profile and think we're pretty cool.  She thinks that'll be the thing that catches someone's eye and makes them read a bit more carefully about us.  Afterall, we're adventurous enough to walk on the ocean's bottom (we were only 20 feet down, and holding onto a rope, but it WAS cool!) so we can take on anything, right? 
I guess I'm feeling frustrated lately with this whole thing.  We're ready and we've been ready for a long time now, so why isn't it happening?  We're dying to be parents and get this family life started.  We've done all we can, we're good people, we have so much to offer.  The time is right.  We're waiting for you, baby... come on and get here!