Strength of Spirit

I’m constantly surrounded by people who amaze me.  I stand in awe, most of the time, of people and the strength of spirit that they possess.  I’m asked, more than I can say, how I do what I do.  Parents ask me.  Inquisitive people ask me.  They think I’m special because I work with sick kids.  I think I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to work with sick kids.  It doesn’t really take a special person to do what I do.  It’s not for everyone, but neither is engineering, teaching, coaching, retail, etc.  Everyone has their thing.  But, while I’m busy doing “my thing”, I see strength and courage and unbelievable spirit.  The thing is, these are ordinary people doing extraordinary things because they have to, not because they want to.  They don’t choose illness.  It chooses them, or it’s chosen for them, depending on your belief system.  They’re just doing what they need to do to get through it.  What other option is there?  There’s always another option, I suppose.  They could sit in a corner and rock back and forth, as I’m sure they’d like to do sometimes.  They can give up and just let illness rule their lives.  Or they can fight back, and not allow it to determine the way they live their lives in general.  They usually choose to fight it out.  I’ve come to see, very clearly, that if someone dies from their disease, that they have not “lost” the fight as we so often hear people say.  They fought and lost.  No.  I don’t believe this.  There’s no losing here, even if cancer takes over...even if it takes control.  I think the way that person lived their life, with cancer, or in spite of cancer, says so much.  To keep on going, to not let it get the best of you, to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to learn some important lessons and really live life… that’s winning, even if life is shorter than we’d hoped or prayed for.  I see this stuff every single day.  Some days, it really bothers me and gets me down.  Why this person or that person?  Why anyone?  Why can’t someone find a cure for this disgusting and cruel disease?  Why should good people, young children, deal with such harsh realities, such devastating illnesses?  Other days, I’m inspired.  I’m grateful.  I’m thankful.  I’m honored.  I’m completely and utterly amazed by the people that deal with this.  I’m challenged.  Challenged to be a better person, to live with intention, to always pay it forward, to love like there’s no tomorrow.  As I sit here tonight thinking of these things, several people are coming into my mind.  Kids, families, friends… people who’ve dealt or are dealing with it, and my sorrows and disappoints seem minimal.   My mind is flooded with thoughts of a better tomorrow.  My sadness and pain feel close in heart, but also far away.  It certainly puts things into perspective.  Always worrying about the future is not doing much for the present.  I know that things will work out for me, for us, in the way that we want them to.  I know that our baby is on his or her way to us as I type this, but I just don’t know when it’ll happen.  That’s an unknown that I can live with.  I wish, with all of my being, that everyone I know and love could know the same with such certain…that the thing they pray for will happen, will work out in the way that they hope, that their greatest dreams will be fulfilled, that there’ll be time to enjoy it, appreciate it, and be with it.