The Truth About Open Adoption- Our Open Adoption

I've had a few people comment lately on our plans for an open adoption.  The latest came today at work, when a co-worker said "You must be pretty strong, because I could NEVER agree to that!".  I think people think that we're perfectly comfortable with the idea, and that we're somehow more special than the rest because of it.  Both are false.  Of course we're nervous, scared, apprehensive, and at times I'm sure, resistent.  But, most of the time, we're very open to whatever our relationship turns out to be with our baby's birth family.  When we think about raising our kids, don't we all strive to keep our kids happy, healthy, and safe?  Don't we want them to be as secure and strong as possible?  Living with as much joy and love as we can wrap them up in?  That's what we're trying to do by having an open relationship (when the time comes).  We've learned so much about open adoption.  OPEN does not mean that our child's birth family will help us parent.  They will have relinquished their parental rights.  They will have chosen US to parent their baby.  They will have made the decision NOT to parent.  So, no co-parenting.  They likely will not spend birthdays or holidays with us and our extended family, though we'll likely try to celebrate those special occasions in some way with our child's birth family if possible.  In an ideal world, we'll have on-going and open communcation.  Not every day or maybe not even every week or month.  But, we'll talk.  Through texting or through email, phone calls and occasional visits in a "neutral" (for lack of a better word) place.  We'll exchange pictures and letters.  Of course, we don't know how the relationship will end up.  In our process, Brian and I had to agree and be willing to establish an open relationship, but in reality, if the birth family choses not to be involved, that's ok, too.  An important thing to remember is that the relationship will most likely evolve... we may have a decent amount of contact in the beginning, and it may wax and wane over the years.  An open relationship may not be what the family wants.  The bottom line is that we want to surround our child(ren) with as much love, warmth, and security as possible, and if that includes a birth parent or birth family, then we welcome them with open arms.  This is not about what's best for us, but what's best for the little baby that someone is going to entrust  to us to care for and raise.  It's about what's best for our family.  We've learned from speaking to both birth families and adoptive families that it can be a very beautiful, if not complicated, thing.  It gets really complicated if there are other children involved, either being raised by the birth family or being raised in other adoptive homes... our family could grow in ways we can only imagine!  So look out, everyone!  You thought we were getting a baby... but we may be getting one or more extended "families" as well!