Showers of Love

I went to a baby shower for a dear friend today.  Dear friend, you kow who you are if you're reading this.  (Hi, by the way!).  I must admit, I was a bit anxious about going.  This month, I'm anticipating, is going to be a challenge to get through.  Our little baby girl should be entering the world and joining our family in three short weeks.   Instead, we have only sweet memories of a little beating heart on a small tv screen in a sterile office.  Our arms are empty and we have no idea when they will be filled up.  At times, it's very hard to be around pregnant people and all of the excitement that comes along with it...watching people with excitement in their bodies and their voices, anticipating the new arrival.  So, today I was looking forward to going, but a part of me has been worried about what it would feel like and how I would be throughout the day.  As usual, the anticipation was worse than the actual event.  In fact, I had a great day.  It started with a road trip with another dear friend whom I used to spend considerable time with, but since we both "grew up" and moved into another phase of life, our quality time together has been sacrificed.  I've missed it.  So, we got a piece of that back today for a while, and I loved it.  Then, seeing our little mother to be was just fabulous. I know her journey all too well, as she went through even more than we did to get to this point.  It was great to see her, a gift to be a part of her day, and a joy and honor to celebrate with her.  I was relieved to discover that I'm genuinely excited and happy for her,  that I can honestly separate our situation from hers, and that I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself or for our situation every time someone who's expecting is near me.  In fact, seeing all of the wonderful things that she's gotten for her soon to arrive son, I started anticipating even more than I usually do, all that we'll need and want for our son or daughter whenever our time comes.  It was fun to watch and it's even more fun to think about now.  I'm starting to discover that all of these experiences are helping us gear up to parenthood and all that will come with it.  I'm also anticipating all of the little friends our child will have because most of my friends have gone or are going before us (down the parenthood path, I mean) and I'll never lack for someone to call whenever we're in need of advice, support, or reassurance that we're not bad parents and we're doing some of it right.  Thanks, my parental friends.  You guys are true blessings in our lives.