Baby Care Basics

We had the opportunity last night to do something that other expecting couples do... something so "normal" for someone expecting a baby.  We went to a baby care class that was offered by our agency.  It was fun to go to something that feels like really preparing, and to forget for a moment that we had to think about what drugs we'd be comfortable having our baby be exposed to, what it might be like to be a visitor in a hosptial watching someone else hold and feed a baby that we might be able to call our own in a day or two, what it might be like to raise a baby from another culture and worry about discrimination and other racial issues.  This class was simply about taking care of a baby.  So much of it feels like second nature to me, having cared for countless babies over the years, but some of it was new and good information, updated information, etc.  We got to pick our baby for this class, rather than having someone pick us (we had a girl with beautiful olive skin, and a big smile on her face!  She remained nameless though, throughout the class).  We practiced bathing, burping, positioning, swaddling, and of course, diapering.  The speaker was very funny and dynamic, and though she was pretty easily distracted and enjoyed going off on tangents, she clearly loves her job and enjoys teaching. 
While in class, we learned that one woman there has recently been matched with a birth mother, and another couple who's only about a month ahead of us in the process has recently adopted!  The new mom was home caring for the baby and the new dad was there learning things he might not have picked up on yet.  It was at the same time exciting and sad to hear about this.  Exciting, because we've now actually seen it happen.  We've sat in a number of classes and seminars with these people, watching them absorb all of the same info that we have, and felt their anxiety and excitement about the adoption process.  To now know that they are parenting makes it all seem so very real and possible.  It feels a bit sad, too, knowing that we were not "the chosen ones", and it's easy to let our heads worry about how long this might be for us.  That's when we have to pull ourselves back and think about all of the things that must go into this huge and life changing decision for a birth parent.  Maybe it was a jewish parent looking for a jewish family, in which case, we were never in the running.  Maybe this couple was more open to various circumstances than we are, or maybe they live in a similar geographic area.  Maybe this birth family was ready to choose before we were officially ready to be "shown".  In any case, we know that our baby will find us when the time is right, and so we try to stay focused on that.  We try to believe (and mostly we do) that it will all make sense some day soon.  We hold on to the optimism, rather than dwell on the things that can bring us down.  We acknowledge them and let ourselves feel whatever we feel, then we say, ok, let's move forward with the hope that keeps us going each day.