"Heart Cries"

I've been following this incredible blog called "Heart Cries" by a woman named Rebekah who's a parent by adoption.  It's a pretty amazing story of how she came across the birthmother and how they were matched.  Coincidentally, both the birth mother and the adoptive mother are named Rebekah, spelled the same way.  Rebekah the adoptive parent and her husband Ben are starting the process again, and going through the foster care system this time.  Rebekah is a very religious person who relies completely on her faith to get her family through this whole experience.  She's very resilient, and very determined.  She's also a true blogger.  Recently, in one post her husband said that he's going to become a blogger.  He's going to blog about living with a blogger, and it's going to be called "Gall Bladder Cries".  That made me laugh out loud.  Anyway, Ben and Rebekah have an incredibly special relationship with their son, Tyrus's birth family.  It's probably the ideal relationship, one that we hope to share with our own child's birth family when the time comes.  It's a perfect example of what a little bit of understanding and a lot of love can accomplish. Tyrus is a very lucky little boy to have so many people who love him!  I've actually been in touch with Rebekah, and I thought you might be interested in seeing some of her recent posts.  She's posted some video clips of her and Rebekah, Ty's birth mother, answering questions that her "followers" posted.  It's so awesome to see the two of them interact with each other.  They are truly a family.  Go ahead... check it out.  Heart Cries.
On another note, I was talking with someone tonight about anticipating what our experience with the birth mother/family might be like.  I told her that one of my fears is how I will balance the feeling of extreme joy that we'll be feeling with the concern for the birthmother and her grieve, loss, and sadness.  I do worry about feeling so sad for her that I can't appreciate our joy.  I do tend to worry about everyone else, in case you didn't know that yet...and I feel what they're feeling pretty deeply sometimes.  This person I was talking to is very wise, and she asked me if I thought the birth mother might feel some relief.  She said that she thinks Brian and I are very solid and loving, and that it shows through, and that the birth mother may really not want, or not be able to parent.  Knowing that the people she chose are solid and loving might actually give her tremendous relief.  I hadn't thought of it like that before... and it helps so much!  It's actually really hard for me to envision the moment when the baby is placed in our arms and we're told we can go... leave the hospital as a family.  Another adoptive family once said that they left feeling like they'd gotten the most precious gift, and yet they felt like they were stealing the baby from someone.  The baby's birth grandfather had actually handed the baby to them, and he completely broke down when that moment came.  They said that the sadness they felt for him and for the rest of his family lingered for a long time.  So, having heard that, I started to wonder how I'd handle it... I know I'll feel so much for her. I know a part of my heart with break for her. But now I feel a bit better, imagining that there could be some relief and some comfort in knowing that this baby will be loved so much that it's ridiculous. I guess the bigger part of me will be able to put that heartbreak aside, knowing that she made this plan because she believes in it, believes it best for the baby, and believes that we're the best ones out there to raise him or her.  We'll take that responsibility, that honor, that gift, and we'll begin our beautiful life together.