10 months in

Tomorrow marks 10 months of waiting.  The significant event of the past month was renewing all of our clearances.  You may be interested in knowing that neither of us has become a criminal within the past ten months.  We're still ok to become parents.  Crazy, but true.  We've had some ups and downs this month, but overall, we're doing ok.  Sick of this waiting game, but ok none the less.  Our social worker sent us this email a few days ago:

"I did also want to take a second to mention something. Recently, a family who has been waiting almost two years decided to leave the program. They are frustrated and sad that the adoption process has taken so much longer than they expected. I am so sad for them. Sad that it hasn’t happened yet but also sad that they are so close and are choosing to give up. I hear their frustration and understand the feelings of despair. But I also know that families are formed through this process! I know that it often takes much longer than anyone hopes. That our own internal timeline cannot compete with the Universe. I know how painful it is for a woman to make this difficult choice and that it has to be right for her and that does not always match up to a waiting family.

Anyway, I’m sharing this with you because in talking with this other family about their decision I couldn’t stop thinking about the two of you. I know that you heard me during the homestudy process when I said “You could potentially wait 2 years” and that you knew that to be true, but also, deep down, that you hoped it wouldn’t be. I hope you are chosen soon, but if you are not, if you wait much longer than you had expected/hoped/dreamed I hope you will hang in there. I hope you will push through the pain and the sadness and the anger. I hope you will ask for support/help when you need it. I hope you will know that IT WILL happen, just not when you want it to. I hope you will know how we are all pulling for you.

Please never hesitate to reach out and ask for what you need. I will always do my best to be there for you!"

I wasn't sure if I wanted to share this publically, but I am constantly so amazed and blown away by the level of caring that they show to us, and the commitment that they have to helping us get through this.  I don't know how I could NOT share it.  We are so fortunate to have her as our social worker, our cheerleader, our support.  We did let her know that we're not giving up.  We pray that this will not last much longer, that we bring our baby home soon, but we can't imagine giving up and backing out.  If we left the agency, where would we go?  Certainly no place any faster than Open Arms is getting us.  To have to start again, to begin this wait all over again, does not sound like fun.  They're working hard for us, and we're sticking with them.

We had brunch today with some new friends that we met through Open Arms, who're right at about the same point as we are in the wait, maybe a month or two behind us.  They're feeling very much the same as we are... sick of it but determined to stick it out knowing that it'll all be worth it.  It's nice to have someone to experience this with.  It's nice to not be alone.