Tonight I'm in the soggy, chilly Poconos in a cabin with about 15 other women. I'm at Ronald McDonald Camp, which is an oncology camp that I've been volunteering for for years. In fact, this is my 10th year. I missed two along the way, so not 10 consecutive years. It's been pouring down rain all day and all night. I hope and pray that things look up soon... can YOU imagine 6 days in the woods, in the rain, with 180-200 kids? Yeah... that's what I thought. I do love this camp, though. After so much time here, it's sort of a home away from home for a week each summer. It's a time when kids who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders can finally put their burdens down for a week and be a kid again. It does not matter what kind of cancer they either have or did have. It doesn't matter if they can walk without help or not. It doesn't matter if they're bald, or short, or fat, or anything else. Everyone here GETS it, and these kids know it. They accomplish the most amazing things here. Illness does not limit them, and the sky is the limit. Friendships are created here that run deep and last a lifetime. I love it. I love witnessing that sort of perfection. It's such an honor.
Last year, I was all set to come, and I ended up having a miscarriage. Brian and I joked this year about how "the call" would come this week and interrupt my camp experience... baby stuff getting in the way of a week in the Mountains once again, only this time, the most welcomed interruption. Well, I'm sitting on my cot in the damp cabin right now, so guess it's going to happen later in the week! lol (wishful thinking). Funniest part about this is that it COULD have happened this weekend. There may have been 10 or more other times when it "could" have happened because someone looked at our profile, but we didn't know about it. This time, we actually did know. We got an email on Friday afternoon, telling us about a little baby girl born on Wednesday. We were being asked if it was ok for our profile to be shown to the birth mother. We were also told that several other families were being shown. Usually, we aren't asked this question, but if there's a characteristic of the baby that matches something on what is called our "family characteristics form" that we said we would be willing to consider, depending on the circumstances (for instance, we said we were willing to consider alcohol exposure, because it can mean very different things in different circumstances. One glass early on vs. every day exposure), they have to call us and ask us before showing our profile to that birth family. This baby matched one of those characteristics that we were willing to consider, so we found out about her. The bad news about knowing, is that we're then on edge as we wait to see if we've been chosen. For those of you we saw this past weekend, we couldn't say anything because it was so iffy and we couldn't get our hopes up more than they were. We've likely been in this position before (of being considered) but we just didn't know it. Sadly, someone else was chosen for this little girl, but I guess she wasn't the baby for us. That's what we have to believe, anyway. It's sad. I had some baby adoption dreams last night. They were very odd (the hospital was calling the baby "Hedge" in my dream, and she was older... maybe 3-4 months old) but still, we'd adopted. It'll happen when it's meant to happen. Boy, am I getting sick of hearing, and saying, that phrase. But, I supposed it'll feel that way to us some day. Meanwhile, we're going about our business. Keeping busy and staying optimistic. I hope this week at camp will be super inspiring and a lot of fun, even if Mother Nature continues to let us have it. I can't wait to see how we all accomodate for her. The staff at this place are really good at this stuff. They feed us well, too. We just had chicken wings, cream puffs, and cake for our late night "snack".
Have a great week, and please, keep sending us positive energy so that we can keep getting through all that this crazy journey sends our way!
I think about you guys often and wanted to check in to see how things are. I can not imagine knowing that someone was considering you- I don't think I would have done anything but think about that! I hope that the week at camp was a good distraction and you had a good time. We are actually headed to camp this week. This will be my first camp experience! It is a family camp for families who have children with disabilities. We are very excited about it. Zoe has had a rough summer and we have not been able to have any time away. So we hope it works out. Right now, Zoe is still spiking fevers but we are hopeful she will be well enough to travel on Monday.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you....hoping...hoping...and hoping.
Genevieve