The Meeting

January 9, 2010-

How do I begin to describe today?  How do I put into words the thoughts and feelings that I’m experiencing right now?  Today was profound, meaningful, and so very special.  We met the woman who has chosen us to parent her child.  Of course I have to mention that the baby is not born yet, and that she can still change her mind.  I have to mention that she can’t surrender her rights to this child until 72 hours after the birth, during which time she can also change her mind.  So, while nothing is set in stone, as of right now she is fully committed to the adoption plan, and we are the people she is choosing to parent the baby.  We are overwhelmed with emotion.  We are elated.  We are over the moon excited and happy.  We are grateful.  While I am not going to share all of the details of this meeting here on this blog, nor will I share many details about this woman, let me just say these things about her.  She is bright and funny.  She is intelligent.  She is kind and caring and has a strength that is beyond words.  She cares so deeply about this baby that she is ensuring that he or she gets the life that she feels s(he) deserves and yet she is unable to provide.  She’s a survivor, she’s struggled and will struggle in ways I can only imagine but will never fully comprehend.  I am in awe of her.  We felt connected to her by the end of our meeting.  It went so well.  Talk about the most awkward experience at first, though… I mean, here we are, standing here saying hello to this very pregnant woman who’s quite possibly carrying our child, our dream, our heart in her belly.  What do you say?  How do you say all that lies beneath the surface and deep within our hearts? Thank God for Stefani.  She was there.  We met with her first to ask our questions and get some preparation for the meeting from her.   She shared information and had great advice.  This woman, I’ll call her M so that I don’t have to keep calling her “this woman”, was being supported and prepped by another social worker from the agency named Portia.  Both Stefani and Portia did a great job of helping us keep the conversation flowing and that settled our nerves a bit.  As the meeting went on, we got more and more comfortable and we were able to share some stories and share some laughs.  The most pivotal moment, one that touched me deeply and I’ll never, ever forget, came towards the end when we were really feeling like we’d made a nice connection with M.  Brian told her how excited we are, and how grateful he is that she choose us, and I started to tear up, unable to say anything except “there are no words to describe it…” and that’s when she did it.  M slowly pulled out a small piece of paper that she had rolled up.  She unrolled it and handed us a gift unlike any other… a glimpse of the baby in the form of last week’s ultrasound pictures.  I couldn’t believe she was sharing that with us.  Those were hers... a piece of her heart.  They were something she could have always kept for herself, and she chose to share them with us.  It felt like a message, an acceptance of us, and an affirmation of a promise.  Regardless of how this plays out, I will always cherish that moment.  We were later told that she’d brought it along just in case… in case she wanted to share a message like that with us.  I can honestly say this is probably one of the moments in my life that I’ll carry with me and never, ever forget.